“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.” — Anne Lamott
I stole this quote from an interesting blog that I like to read occassionally - Eat, Pray, Run.
3.09.2009
3.04.2009
tbc
To be continued...like, soon.
I have goals, and feel the need to blog about them...
Life is good ;)
I have goals, and feel the need to blog about them...
Life is good ;)
5.05.2008
pocket full of sunshine
Kinda lost my grip on this whole blog thing. Been a busy few months, I guess?
I am a little disappointed in how this blog turned out - I had extremely high hopes for using this blog as a tool to bring awareness to Tinnitus. I had some really grandiose plans for several hundred posts laced with the most thought-provoking, inspirational messages that you'd ever hope to find on the web.
What I have found is that it is very difficult to find information on a largely misunderstood medical condition, and then regurgitate it in such a way that it translates both interestingly and simply enough to be understood and interpreted properly by someone who has never heard of the disease.
My posts on tinnitus trailed off early in this project, but my running has not. I run the ING Marathon in Ottawa in a little less than three weeks and I can say with a certain degree of confidence that I am ready. My longest runs are behind me, and now I'm moving into the part of my training program that is going to allow me to cut back on my mileage a bit. Have I been completely committed to the training program? Probably not. I missed some runs. I skipped out on some distance periodically. I had that extra drink, occasionally. But honestly, looking back at the last six months (almost) since I decided to undertake this 'thing', this marathon thing, it really has taken on a life of its own. I didn't realize it until now, but I've made some sacrifices recently, and in doing so, I've gained so much and lost so little.
Things I've lost from my training:
I am a little disappointed in how this blog turned out - I had extremely high hopes for using this blog as a tool to bring awareness to Tinnitus. I had some really grandiose plans for several hundred posts laced with the most thought-provoking, inspirational messages that you'd ever hope to find on the web.
What I have found is that it is very difficult to find information on a largely misunderstood medical condition, and then regurgitate it in such a way that it translates both interestingly and simply enough to be understood and interpreted properly by someone who has never heard of the disease.
My posts on tinnitus trailed off early in this project, but my running has not. I run the ING Marathon in Ottawa in a little less than three weeks and I can say with a certain degree of confidence that I am ready. My longest runs are behind me, and now I'm moving into the part of my training program that is going to allow me to cut back on my mileage a bit. Have I been completely committed to the training program? Probably not. I missed some runs. I skipped out on some distance periodically. I had that extra drink, occasionally. But honestly, looking back at the last six months (almost) since I decided to undertake this 'thing', this marathon thing, it really has taken on a life of its own. I didn't realize it until now, but I've made some sacrifices recently, and in doing so, I've gained so much and lost so little.
Things I've lost from my training:
- the spare tire around my midsection (Well, some of it)
- my saddle bags (see brackets, above)
- the feeling in my second toe (on both feet)
- two toe nails, and several layers of skin from my feet
- I have no medical evidence to support this one, but I'm guessing there is less cartilage in my knees today than there was six months ago.
- THE CHARGER FOR MY DAMN iPOD!!!
- my obsession for the sounds of Pearl Jam. Seriously you can only listen to Evenflow, Black and Alive so many times...
- my desire to sit in front of the television, eating bon bons and slurping iced cappuccinos. 'Can't. Sit. Still. Must. Train.'
- a curious yearning to bring each week to an end by consuming a minimum of one litre of wine (or any other spirit, really)
- any form of vanity when leaving the comfort of my home to run in a public place. There is no longer any requirement for a last minute 'check' in the mirror to make sure the hair is in place. That hair? It's secured nicely under the tightest headband I can get my hands on.
- my fear of snow/sleet/hail/cold air.
- self-doubt
- fear of failure
Things I've gained from my training:
- blisters the size of grapefruits UNDER my toes. (I'm not even joking)
- an inexplicable clicking sensation in my right hip.
- a bit more muscle tone than this body has ever seen.
- an appreciation for the work and dedication that serious athletes put into their sports.
- an understanding of the importance of setting and meeting goals (this one makes me cry a bit)
- an insatiable appetite
- an understanding of the runner's vocabulary - I know what words like negative splits, gels, intervals, and fartleks mean. (Don't ask me about the last one. Google it, if you want to know)
- I used to hear of how people became obsessed by running. That if they didn't run, they didn't feel themselves, or felt an intense pang of guilt. I now understand that obsession. I own it.
- a knowledge that after years of silently standing by, while my father calmly lived his own private hell, that he is now aware of how much I wished I could have done something for him. While this blog wasn't a total success, I know that some people learned some things, some people related, and some people empathized and sympathized. In that sense, this has been a success. The success lies in his new understanding that he's not alone, as I know he thought he was for so many years.
In closing, I want to thank those of you who wrote to me, telling me you were reading here, checking in and updating yourselves. The gratitude that I feel cannot be translated into words, but I hope you'll understand what it means to me. Thanks once again.
To wrap this whole thing up, I'll post a race report after I complete the marathon.
3.10.2008
there's no backing out now
It's officially Official (Yes you are correct. That is a capital 'O').Today I registered for the ING Ottawa Marathon. And so now, barring any unforeseen circumstances - injury, illness, mental breakdown (don't laugh, it's a real possibility) - I will be completing my training, and I will be running 26.2 miles (that is 42.2 kilometers, fellow Canadians!)
When you ask? When will this event take place? In eleven short weeks, on May 25!
I've been doing alot of talking.
'I've got lots of work to do', I inform my friends who ask me how my training is going.
'I ran 16 miles yesterday', I notify my co-workers over coffee on Monday morning in our employee 'lounge'.
'I got a hot new running skirt', I report to my girlfriends over cocktails.
The reality is that I have been naively plugging away at my training schedule, not giving much thought to the inevitable finale to this little party I've been planning. I've brought a wee bit of publicity to this situation, what with the whole blog thing, and the Facebook Group, and the talking and stuff.
The gravity of the situation became apparent to me at approximately 9.36am this morning when I received my confirmation email from ING:
Please print this email as confirmation of your entry.
Michelle Dykstra is now Registered for: ING Ottawa Marathon
There were some other words on that email that I'm sure are equally important, and I shall revisit that at a later date. But it's that last sentence that sort of reached out and grabbed me by the aorta. I am registered for the ING Ottawa Marathon.
Not that I ever lost sight of what I started here. You can ask anyone who's close to me - I'm as committed today as I was back in November to completing the marathon. And I'm still hopeful that people are reading this blog (as sporadic as the posting may be) and learning about Tinnitus. In fact, I may be even more committed now that I've received the confirmation that someone may be expecting to see my face at the Registration Table on race day.
Today I feel a renewed sense of determination. I began this project to raise awareness for Tinnitus, and I intend on completing it to the best of my ability. It's true, I've been a little under the weather lately, and my mileage has suffered a bit. But tomorrow I intend to get back outside and brave the elements once again.
I'm sure I felt the universe jolt just now, like it's realigning itself. It's like all the negativity that has been plaguing this blog is trying to dislodge itself and replace itself with happy, optimistic, marathon-is-tic energy. Did you feel that?
Oh. Maybe the cosmos haven't shifted at all. Maybe I've actually been slammed in the back of the head by a slipper-turned-missile, launched by my seven year old daughter in an attempt to render her 13 year old brother unconscious.
Well, whatever......wish me Luck (with a capital 'L')
3.09.2008
10 Feet!!! Not 10 inches
This is the post where I lie about everything. Please see ‘truth’ in square parentheses.
Today is December 24, 2008 [March 9, 2008]. I know I speak for all of Mankind [me] when I say we [I] couldn't be more thankful [pissed off] for the beautiful dusting [dumping] of snow we received over the last few days, leading up to Christmas Day [It is March. Not Christmas, but Easter, actually]. There is nothing like a couple inches [10 Feet] of sparkly, white snow [icy, slushy, salty, heavy CRAP] to get you in the Christmas spirit [again, NOT Christmas, but EASTER].
Today, I laced up my running shoes, and energetically bounded out my front door [slid and slipped down my front path, able to stop only from the force created by my collision with the tree at the end of said path]. I took a deep breath, filled my lungs with the crisp, fresh winter air [diesel/gas/other noxious fumes fill the air today as everyone with a snow blower or a plow attached to the front of their pick up truck has taken to the streets to dig their neighbour out from under the 10 feet of snow that has fallen within the last 24 hours], and fired up my iPod [my iPod is frozen solid after being exposed to the air for approximately 35 seconds].
It’s a gorgeous day [harrumph], perfect for a quick 5 miles - I barely notice the time has passed before I’m back in my own driveway, having returned from one of the most enjoyable winter runs I have had to date. [I have not left my driveway. I have become lodged in a snowbank on my way to the road and have been further buried by an unsuspecting snowplough, clearing the streets. Don’t worry about me though – leave me here. Just let me know when winter is over.]
Today is December 24, 2008 [March 9, 2008]. I know I speak for all of Mankind [me] when I say we [I] couldn't be more thankful [pissed off] for the beautiful dusting [dumping] of snow we received over the last few days, leading up to Christmas Day [It is March. Not Christmas, but Easter, actually]. There is nothing like a couple inches [10 Feet] of sparkly, white snow [icy, slushy, salty, heavy CRAP] to get you in the Christmas spirit [again, NOT Christmas, but EASTER].
Today, I laced up my running shoes, and energetically bounded out my front door [slid and slipped down my front path, able to stop only from the force created by my collision with the tree at the end of said path]. I took a deep breath, filled my lungs with the crisp, fresh winter air [diesel/gas/other noxious fumes fill the air today as everyone with a snow blower or a plow attached to the front of their pick up truck has taken to the streets to dig their neighbour out from under the 10 feet of snow that has fallen within the last 24 hours], and fired up my iPod [my iPod is frozen solid after being exposed to the air for approximately 35 seconds].
It’s a gorgeous day [harrumph], perfect for a quick 5 miles - I barely notice the time has passed before I’m back in my own driveway, having returned from one of the most enjoyable winter runs I have had to date. [I have not left my driveway. I have become lodged in a snowbank on my way to the road and have been further buried by an unsuspecting snowplough, clearing the streets. Don’t worry about me though – leave me here. Just let me know when winter is over.]
2.10.2008
Interview with My Dad.
You’ve been waiting for this!! Turn the phone off, put all your calls through to your voicemail, because the time has finally arrived. It’s our one-on-one interview with Korrie (Dad), exclusive to tinnitusmarathon.blogspot.com.
So without further adieu, below is our colour-coded interview, exactly how it all went down:
Michelle: Hi, Dad.
Dad: Hey Michelle.
Michelle: You good? Want a drink or something?
Dad: Nah, I’m good….
Michelle: Right then…Mom! Could you bring Dad a beer?
Dad: No - I’m good! Carol, no beer, thanks!
Mom: [doesn’t budge from her place on the couch, where she is reading her book…]
Michelle: Okay, let’s start then. Ready?
Dad: Let’s roll…
Michelle: Kay…do you remember the first symptoms of Tinnitus that you noticed?
Dad: Late 1992 I had an ear infection which produced "T" for the first time. Sounded like the buzzing of 10,000 Bees in my head! It slowly faded after about 2 months. What a relief! Late in 1995 had another ear infection; bees came back and have never left since!
Michelle: What made you think, or when did you realize something was wrong & this wasn’t going to go away?
Dad: After the second ear infection, there was no fading of "T" at all. Countless nights were spent trying to sleep but all I could do was flop around in bed like a "fish out of water”. My gut feeling told me I was in deep trouble. Going to work was a nightmare; it was probably a human "safety hazard" there. Work was a noisy atmosphere requiring hearing protection. The ear protection trapped "T" even more in my head. Then I’d try to sleep after work and just flop in bed again. No sleep, terrible noise in my head at work......no sleep, terrible noise in my head at work. It was a vicious cycle that just repeated itself over and over. Despair really setting in by now.
Michelle: What were your thoughts then?
Dad: Short answer - thought I was going insane. Maybe I was, at first.
Michelle: Do you remember your first visit to your doctor about it? What suggestions were offered? Was she sympathetic or helpful?
Dad: First visits to Doctor were a complete waste of time. They could "see nothing" in the ear they could fix and so they’d tell you to "learn to live with it." Which is fine, but they offered no suggestions on coping. You are on your own, adding to feelings of deeper despair.
Mom: [looks up from her book, like she’s just thought of something] Hey!! Do you guys want something to drink??
Dad: Yeah, maybe I’ll have a beer?
Mom: [brings beer] Why didn’t you guys SAY something? Michelle, don’t you want something?
Michelle: No thanks - I’m trying to work here. Dad, how did you find out about TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy)? What relief did it offer for you?
Dad: I had joined a "T" support group and learned about it there. Offered no relief whatsoever. Despair continued!
Michelle: Would you talk about the brain surgery you underwent in 1997?
Dad: There is a long medical name for the surgery but basically it was a neurological procedure that found two microscopic blood vessels were impinging on an auditory nerve. Two microscopic Teflon pads were placed between the blood vessels and the nerve. It was supposed to "cushion" the nerve. The surgery was performed in Toronto in '97 and was not successful -"T" was still there. It did however have a very negative result. Speech discrimination in my right ear is almost totally gone. Meaning simply, words I hear with that ear are scrambled. A simple sentence sounds like a foreign language is one way to put it.
I was the second person in Canada, I believe, to have this procedure. It's no longer done. I wonder why?
Michelle: Hey!! Meant to thank you guys for the running skirt!! It’s the cat’s A$$!!
Mom: Mi-chelle!!
Dad: You’re welcome, but why do you have to swear so much?
Michelle: Ummm…Sorry? [Uncomfortable silence, while my father stares me down] Aaaaanyways…Can you tell about some of the things you used to love to do, that you don’t do anymore because of Tinnitus?
Dad: That's an easy one. Always enjoyed cars - fixing them, showing them but most of all "drag racing" them. Did a lot of traveling to shows and races here and in the U.S. Met a lot of nice people along the way. Why do I not do this anymore? "T" impacts concentration and focus. Neither of which I have much of anymore. Tried a couple of times to "rekindle" passion for cars but it's not there anymore. Also, going to "drag races" is out of the question. It can be noisy to say the least. It was always an adrenaline rush to race. I miss it.
Miss my family and friends too! It's so hard trying to carry on conversation when more than one person is in the room talking. So, I avoid going to most gatherings. Sad huh?
Miss being a productive member of society too. Always took pride in my work. Man, the things I miss would be an endless list!
Michelle: You always had the best cars in town. Can you list some of them?
Dad: Sure, here's a few:
'65 Chevelle SS
'65 & '67 Impala SS
'67 Camaro RS/SS convertible (black with black interior and white top. (Super nice car)
'69 GTO.....do you remember "driving" that?
Michelle: Oh, yeah, for sure. I was like, six? Sitting on your lap!
Dad: Also there was the '79 Li'l Red Express Truck… A few others in between but my favorites were the Buicks I had:
'70 GS that was "built" for speed! Was a blast to drive and race.
'70 Skylark (GS clone) that I ''framed off." Was "better than new."
'87 Buick Grand National that was scary fast too. You never lost a race did you??
Michelle: Me? Ha!! Man, no way!!
uhhh.....I mean……I never raced that car! I drove it to school and back home, like I was told!
Dad: Had a few other Buicks but those were my favorites. Which one would I like to have back?
The three Buicks I mentioned. They all defined "Going Fast With Class"
Michelle: I totally agree. The Buicks were my faves too….Could you describe a typical day for you, starting from when you wake up in the morning?
Dad: That's a hard one. Briefly, I get up early; avoid any noisy atmosphere, (meaning I am in my home almost all of the time). This is where I am "in control" of what happens to me. Spend a bit of time on computer but mostly I just wish it was night time again so I could sleep for a bit. That is my only escape, sleep. Long days, short nights, I wonder myself, how do I do it?
Michelle: Me too; I wonder that too. Do you EVER experience relief?
Dad: Answer to that is again, only when I sleep. No relief ever during waking hours. "T" never goes down, will go up at times though. Those days are a killer when that happens.
Michelle: What brings you joy now?
Dad: Knowing my "kid" and "grandkids" are doing well in life. Don't see them as much as I thought I would but that does not stop me from knowing how they are doing and what they are accomplishing. They are my "Joy in Life" and always will be.
Michelle: That’s really nice. I was a pretty good kid eh? Good teenager?
Dad: Yeah you were a pretty darn good kid, except for knocking down snow banks after I finished shoveling the driveway! You reminded me of that just the other day when your kids were playing in my snowbanks and I didn't give them trouble!! I have a lot of good memories of you being a kid. Was a magical time that went by in an instant, seems like.
Good teenager? Must have been, I let you drive my cars! Think you must have thrown some good parties too, just wish we had been home when you did. Bet you do too, huh?
Michelle: I have no idea what you're talking about? Parties?? Seriously, I don't know what you mean. What is your biggest frustration, today?
Dad: Another easy one, trying hard to concentrate on answering these questions. The more I try, the harder it becomes. Frustrating at its "best."
Michelle: What does it sound like?
Dad: Like 10,000 bees buzzing inside my head. It's a real "falsetto" type of buzz too! No "low drone" for those li'l buggers!
Michelle: Okay, last question. Who is your favorite offspring? I’ve always wanted to ask you that?
Dad: What this?? A trick question? Well, let me see…seeing as you’re an ONLY CHILD, I guess the answer to that is a no-brainer.
Michelle: [laughing] I know, I was just kidding. Mom! Did you hear that? Mom? Are you still reading?
Mom: [Silence and stillness. This woman is engrossed in whatever she is reading!]
Michelle: [Makes mental note to check Mom’s pulse when this interview wraps up] Okay then. [Leans into Dad, whispering] Who do you like better between me and Mom?
Dad: [Gets up and walks into another room, shaking his head] Oh, Michelle….this ‘interview’ has ended.
**Okay, I’ll admit that some of these answers may have been edited or enhanced (perhaps even totally fabricated) for ease of reading. Or, for my own amusement. But not the Tinnitus stuff. Those words are all original and untouched.
So without further adieu, below is our colour-coded interview, exactly how it all went down:
Michelle: Hi, Dad.
Dad: Hey Michelle.
Michelle: You good? Want a drink or something?
Dad: Nah, I’m good….
Michelle: Right then…Mom! Could you bring Dad a beer?
Dad: No - I’m good! Carol, no beer, thanks!
Mom: [doesn’t budge from her place on the couch, where she is reading her book…]
Michelle: Okay, let’s start then. Ready?
Dad: Let’s roll…
Michelle: Kay…do you remember the first symptoms of Tinnitus that you noticed?
Dad: Late 1992 I had an ear infection which produced "T" for the first time. Sounded like the buzzing of 10,000 Bees in my head! It slowly faded after about 2 months. What a relief! Late in 1995 had another ear infection; bees came back and have never left since!
Michelle: What made you think, or when did you realize something was wrong & this wasn’t going to go away?
Dad: After the second ear infection, there was no fading of "T" at all. Countless nights were spent trying to sleep but all I could do was flop around in bed like a "fish out of water”. My gut feeling told me I was in deep trouble. Going to work was a nightmare; it was probably a human "safety hazard" there. Work was a noisy atmosphere requiring hearing protection. The ear protection trapped "T" even more in my head. Then I’d try to sleep after work and just flop in bed again. No sleep, terrible noise in my head at work......no sleep, terrible noise in my head at work. It was a vicious cycle that just repeated itself over and over. Despair really setting in by now.
Michelle: What were your thoughts then?
Dad: Short answer - thought I was going insane. Maybe I was, at first.
Michelle: Do you remember your first visit to your doctor about it? What suggestions were offered? Was she sympathetic or helpful?
Dad: First visits to Doctor were a complete waste of time. They could "see nothing" in the ear they could fix and so they’d tell you to "learn to live with it." Which is fine, but they offered no suggestions on coping. You are on your own, adding to feelings of deeper despair.
Mom: [looks up from her book, like she’s just thought of something] Hey!! Do you guys want something to drink??
Dad: Yeah, maybe I’ll have a beer?
Mom: [brings beer] Why didn’t you guys SAY something? Michelle, don’t you want something?
Michelle: No thanks - I’m trying to work here. Dad, how did you find out about TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy)? What relief did it offer for you?
Dad: I had joined a "T" support group and learned about it there. Offered no relief whatsoever. Despair continued!
Michelle: Would you talk about the brain surgery you underwent in 1997?
Dad: There is a long medical name for the surgery but basically it was a neurological procedure that found two microscopic blood vessels were impinging on an auditory nerve. Two microscopic Teflon pads were placed between the blood vessels and the nerve. It was supposed to "cushion" the nerve. The surgery was performed in Toronto in '97 and was not successful -"T" was still there. It did however have a very negative result. Speech discrimination in my right ear is almost totally gone. Meaning simply, words I hear with that ear are scrambled. A simple sentence sounds like a foreign language is one way to put it.
I was the second person in Canada, I believe, to have this procedure. It's no longer done. I wonder why?
Michelle: Hey!! Meant to thank you guys for the running skirt!! It’s the cat’s A$$!!
Mom: Mi-chelle!!
Dad: You’re welcome, but why do you have to swear so much?
Michelle: Ummm…Sorry? [Uncomfortable silence, while my father stares me down] Aaaaanyways…Can you tell about some of the things you used to love to do, that you don’t do anymore because of Tinnitus?
Dad: That's an easy one. Always enjoyed cars - fixing them, showing them but most of all "drag racing" them. Did a lot of traveling to shows and races here and in the U.S. Met a lot of nice people along the way. Why do I not do this anymore? "T" impacts concentration and focus. Neither of which I have much of anymore. Tried a couple of times to "rekindle" passion for cars but it's not there anymore. Also, going to "drag races" is out of the question. It can be noisy to say the least. It was always an adrenaline rush to race. I miss it.
Miss my family and friends too! It's so hard trying to carry on conversation when more than one person is in the room talking. So, I avoid going to most gatherings. Sad huh?
Miss being a productive member of society too. Always took pride in my work. Man, the things I miss would be an endless list!
Michelle: You always had the best cars in town. Can you list some of them?
Dad: Sure, here's a few:
'65 Chevelle SS
'65 & '67 Impala SS
'67 Camaro RS/SS convertible (black with black interior and white top. (Super nice car)
'69 GTO.....do you remember "driving" that?
Michelle: Oh, yeah, for sure. I was like, six? Sitting on your lap!
Dad: Also there was the '79 Li'l Red Express Truck… A few others in between but my favorites were the Buicks I had:
'70 GS that was "built" for speed! Was a blast to drive and race.
'70 Skylark (GS clone) that I ''framed off." Was "better than new."
'87 Buick Grand National that was scary fast too. You never lost a race did you??
Michelle: Me? Ha!! Man, no way!!
uhhh.....I mean……I never raced that car! I drove it to school and back home, like I was told!
Dad: Had a few other Buicks but those were my favorites. Which one would I like to have back?
The three Buicks I mentioned. They all defined "Going Fast With Class"
Michelle: I totally agree. The Buicks were my faves too….Could you describe a typical day for you, starting from when you wake up in the morning?
Dad: That's a hard one. Briefly, I get up early; avoid any noisy atmosphere, (meaning I am in my home almost all of the time). This is where I am "in control" of what happens to me. Spend a bit of time on computer but mostly I just wish it was night time again so I could sleep for a bit. That is my only escape, sleep. Long days, short nights, I wonder myself, how do I do it?
Michelle: Me too; I wonder that too. Do you EVER experience relief?
Dad: Answer to that is again, only when I sleep. No relief ever during waking hours. "T" never goes down, will go up at times though. Those days are a killer when that happens.
Michelle: What brings you joy now?
Dad: Knowing my "kid" and "grandkids" are doing well in life. Don't see them as much as I thought I would but that does not stop me from knowing how they are doing and what they are accomplishing. They are my "Joy in Life" and always will be.
Michelle: That’s really nice. I was a pretty good kid eh? Good teenager?
Dad: Yeah you were a pretty darn good kid, except for knocking down snow banks after I finished shoveling the driveway! You reminded me of that just the other day when your kids were playing in my snowbanks and I didn't give them trouble!! I have a lot of good memories of you being a kid. Was a magical time that went by in an instant, seems like.
Good teenager? Must have been, I let you drive my cars! Think you must have thrown some good parties too, just wish we had been home when you did. Bet you do too, huh?
Michelle: I have no idea what you're talking about? Parties?? Seriously, I don't know what you mean. What is your biggest frustration, today?
Dad: Another easy one, trying hard to concentrate on answering these questions. The more I try, the harder it becomes. Frustrating at its "best."
Michelle: What does it sound like?
Dad: Like 10,000 bees buzzing inside my head. It's a real "falsetto" type of buzz too! No "low drone" for those li'l buggers!
Michelle: Okay, last question. Who is your favorite offspring? I’ve always wanted to ask you that?
Dad: What this?? A trick question? Well, let me see…seeing as you’re an ONLY CHILD, I guess the answer to that is a no-brainer.
Michelle: [laughing] I know, I was just kidding. Mom! Did you hear that? Mom? Are you still reading?
Mom: [Silence and stillness. This woman is engrossed in whatever she is reading!]
Michelle: [Makes mental note to check Mom’s pulse when this interview wraps up] Okay then. [Leans into Dad, whispering] Who do you like better between me and Mom?
Dad: [Gets up and walks into another room, shaking his head] Oh, Michelle….this ‘interview’ has ended.
**Okay, I’ll admit that some of these answers may have been edited or enhanced (perhaps even totally fabricated) for ease of reading. Or, for my own amusement. But not the Tinnitus stuff. Those words are all original and untouched.
2.05.2008
winter confessional
I've decided to place a post here, in lieu of the Interview with my Dad. We're ironing out some kinks in his contract. He's just reading the small print, I guess.
I have a small confession to make and it has to do with snow.
It's no secret here that I'm not friends with the snow. It makes things cold. It makes things messy. It makes me miserable. We just don't get along.
In November, when we had our first snowfall, I naively shrugged my shoulders and took my runs inside onto the treadmills for a bit. 'It's fine', I thought. 'I'll just scurry along here on this treadmill - like a hamster in a wheel - for a couple of months, and before I know it the snow will melt, and I'll take this activity back outdoors where it belongs!'
Oh, sweet, sweet, stupid girl!
Fast forward about 48 hours to my first long run, which was approximately 6 miles at that time. I prepared myself with some new tunes on my iPod, and sashayed into that gym like I owned the place (I was about to run 6 straight miles, after all).
The first three miles were fabulous. I felt strong, pace was good, music was great. But then my ADD kicked in, and the last three miles of that run was pure H.E.Doublehockeysticks!! I tried every trick in the book to keep my brain occupied - I tried to watch The Surreal Life on the tv in front of me, I checked my form in the mirrors in front of me, I switched up the songs on my iPod, I tried to peek at the girl's stats on the treadmill beside me. When I finished that run, I vowed to myself never to put myself through a treadmill workout any longer than 5 miles ever again.
The following week's long run was taken outdoors, where I was met with unploughed sidwalks, caked in slushy snow. I ran 7 miles in this slop and by the end, I was sure my legs were going to unhinge themselves from my hips and just lay there in the snowbank in front of my house. I was positive that my running career had been cut short, because how can you run when you're only a torso? Only one thing was good about this run - I wasn't bored to tears.
And so I continued, each Sunday since mid-November to plod along outside, regardless of the weather conditions. Amazingly, the reflexive profanity that I had grown accustomed to hearing coming from my mouth was gradually waning.
Just this past Sunday, I ran my furthest distance yet (12.5 miles) during a light snow fall. I can't quite describe the feeling to you, of running down the road, the snowflakes floating down towards you, landing all around you. But it seems like they're not landing on you. They're just there to make everything pretty. And it's so pretty!!
When you look at the road ahead you are surprised to realize that as it moves beneath you it is moving on its own. You don't feel any sense of exertion or stress. Your body has fallen into its own rhythm and you no longer have to concentrate on your pace, form, heartrate, breathing. This now feels like your body's natural movement and everything is taking place on its own, organically.
You meet other runners who wave and give you the 'thumbs up' and you understand immediately what they're saying - 'This is Awesome!'. You wave back in agreement.
Your favorite tunes are providing the soundtrack for this amazing experience, but if you take a second and pop your headphones off, you are immediately captivated by the early morning silence. You can hear the wind in the trees, the water rushing along in the river next to you. You can actually hear the snow hitting the pavement.
And then suddenly, before you realize what has happened your senses are overtaken by the acrid smell of diesel fuel. There is no time to react before you are nearly blown sideways into the ditch by the force of an 18-wheeler rushing past you at a buck-twenty, saturating you with wet, salty, slush spraying from it's tires.
I love winter.
I have a small confession to make and it has to do with snow.
It's no secret here that I'm not friends with the snow. It makes things cold. It makes things messy. It makes me miserable. We just don't get along.
In November, when we had our first snowfall, I naively shrugged my shoulders and took my runs inside onto the treadmills for a bit. 'It's fine', I thought. 'I'll just scurry along here on this treadmill - like a hamster in a wheel - for a couple of months, and before I know it the snow will melt, and I'll take this activity back outdoors where it belongs!'
Oh, sweet, sweet, stupid girl!
Fast forward about 48 hours to my first long run, which was approximately 6 miles at that time. I prepared myself with some new tunes on my iPod, and sashayed into that gym like I owned the place (I was about to run 6 straight miles, after all).
The first three miles were fabulous. I felt strong, pace was good, music was great. But then my ADD kicked in, and the last three miles of that run was pure H.E.Doublehockeysticks!! I tried every trick in the book to keep my brain occupied - I tried to watch The Surreal Life on the tv in front of me, I checked my form in the mirrors in front of me, I switched up the songs on my iPod, I tried to peek at the girl's stats on the treadmill beside me. When I finished that run, I vowed to myself never to put myself through a treadmill workout any longer than 5 miles ever again.
The following week's long run was taken outdoors, where I was met with unploughed sidwalks, caked in slushy snow. I ran 7 miles in this slop and by the end, I was sure my legs were going to unhinge themselves from my hips and just lay there in the snowbank in front of my house. I was positive that my running career had been cut short, because how can you run when you're only a torso? Only one thing was good about this run - I wasn't bored to tears.
And so I continued, each Sunday since mid-November to plod along outside, regardless of the weather conditions. Amazingly, the reflexive profanity that I had grown accustomed to hearing coming from my mouth was gradually waning.
Just this past Sunday, I ran my furthest distance yet (12.5 miles) during a light snow fall. I can't quite describe the feeling to you, of running down the road, the snowflakes floating down towards you, landing all around you. But it seems like they're not landing on you. They're just there to make everything pretty. And it's so pretty!!
When you look at the road ahead you are surprised to realize that as it moves beneath you it is moving on its own. You don't feel any sense of exertion or stress. Your body has fallen into its own rhythm and you no longer have to concentrate on your pace, form, heartrate, breathing. This now feels like your body's natural movement and everything is taking place on its own, organically.
You meet other runners who wave and give you the 'thumbs up' and you understand immediately what they're saying - 'This is Awesome!'. You wave back in agreement.
Your favorite tunes are providing the soundtrack for this amazing experience, but if you take a second and pop your headphones off, you are immediately captivated by the early morning silence. You can hear the wind in the trees, the water rushing along in the river next to you. You can actually hear the snow hitting the pavement.
And then suddenly, before you realize what has happened your senses are overtaken by the acrid smell of diesel fuel. There is no time to react before you are nearly blown sideways into the ditch by the force of an 18-wheeler rushing past you at a buck-twenty, saturating you with wet, salty, slush spraying from it's tires.
I love winter.
1.28.2008
Ack!!
People:
I have not forgotten about this project.
Rest assured, I am still running, and still thinking of this blog.
Not to make excuses or anything, but it's just been so busy. And so snowy. Not that the weather has any impact on the frequency of my postings. But seriously, what good is winter if you can't use the misery that comes with it as justification for your temporary lack of ambition to do ANYTHING.
Say it with me....WINTER SUCKS!!
However..........
We have exciting plans for updates here in the near future. I'm not sure if Dad is aware, but he has signed an exclusive deal to be interviewed for this blog by ME. Oh, it's gonna be good. Not only will you get an insider's take on what makes this man tick, you'll also witness, first-hand the hilarity and hi jinx that can only happen when he is present. But what I really think you'll take from the 'interview' is what it is like for someone who suffers from Tinnitus. I hope he'll shed some light on how life has changed for him. And we're going to talk about some of the things he's tried in the past to cope and deal with this nightmare.
So, keep checking back. Hope to have this one wrapped up by the end of the week.
I have not forgotten about this project.
Rest assured, I am still running, and still thinking of this blog.
Not to make excuses or anything, but it's just been so busy. And so snowy. Not that the weather has any impact on the frequency of my postings. But seriously, what good is winter if you can't use the misery that comes with it as justification for your temporary lack of ambition to do ANYTHING.
Say it with me....WINTER SUCKS!!
However..........
We have exciting plans for updates here in the near future. I'm not sure if Dad is aware, but he has signed an exclusive deal to be interviewed for this blog by ME. Oh, it's gonna be good. Not only will you get an insider's take on what makes this man tick, you'll also witness, first-hand the hilarity and hi jinx that can only happen when he is present. But what I really think you'll take from the 'interview' is what it is like for someone who suffers from Tinnitus. I hope he'll shed some light on how life has changed for him. And we're going to talk about some of the things he's tried in the past to cope and deal with this nightmare.
So, keep checking back. Hope to have this one wrapped up by the end of the week.
1.12.2008
spring 'want list'...2nd installment
*shamlessly...I mean, strategically-placed subliminal message: Any fathers who may occasionally post here, and who may be stumped for birthday gift ideas this year for their daughters, who may also post here, please scroll back to the top of the post and re-read. Seek mom’s advice about sizes…………….*
Hmmm, woke up this morning feeling like I was in the "Twilight Zone" which is pretty much my normal state. Yet this morning the "Zone" seemed to be sending me subliminal messages of some kind! What could it be? Did I win the Super 7? Nope to that one (wait till next week). Message keep saying something about money though. Little did I know it was telling it was my money it was referring too!
So, seeking advice I came here and lo and behold, "lookie what I found". Never knew what hit me!
I need more coffee, some more time to digest this message and wait for "size advice." Dads who may post here no nothing about "sizes" for daughters who may post here!
"That’s right, kids. You heard me right - butt-lifting, butt-enhancing compression shorts. [we can pause here for a sec, while you digest that delicious piece of information I just fed you]"
"Oh, my eyes!" Think I will head back to the "Twilight Zone" now!
Hmmm, woke up this morning feeling like I was in the "Twilight Zone" which is pretty much my normal state. Yet this morning the "Zone" seemed to be sending me subliminal messages of some kind! What could it be? Did I win the Super 7? Nope to that one (wait till next week). Message keep saying something about money though. Little did I know it was telling it was my money it was referring too!
So, seeking advice I came here and lo and behold, "lookie what I found". Never knew what hit me!
I need more coffee, some more time to digest this message and wait for "size advice." Dads who may post here no nothing about "sizes" for daughters who may post here!
"That’s right, kids. You heard me right - butt-lifting, butt-enhancing compression shorts. [we can pause here for a sec, while you digest that delicious piece of information I just fed you]"
"Oh, my eyes!" Think I will head back to the "Twilight Zone" now!
spring 'want list'...1st installment
I gotta have this.
Oh, yah, I can see you rolling your eyes. And I can practically hear what you’re saying.
You’re all…’This is a skirt. Why do you need a skirt? And why do you feel the need to blog about it - in January, no less?’
Well, calm down for a second and let me talk! God…
This, dear reader, is not your ordinary skirt. What you see here is a running skirt from http://www.skirtsports.com/. This is the Gym Girl, with two pockets. And what you don’t see here, is that underneath this ‘lightweight, luxurious SpeedSilk fabric’, which ’gently flows across your thighs’ is a pair of built in compression shorts.
That’s right, kids. You heard me right - butt-lifting, butt-enhancing compression shorts. [we can pause here for a sec, while you digest that delicious piece of information I just fed you]
I know! So cool!
Oh. Did I mention the pockets? To hold your stuff - your iPod, cell phone, lip stuff, money for beer stops...er, I mean water stops on your long runs. Whatever. We all have our own 'needs'.
Like, it’s not enough that these things are so cute, but they’re totally functional too!
And...the best part? I have found a retailer near me.
Spring can’t come fast enough now.
*shamlessly...I mean, strategically-placed subliminal message: Any fathers who may occasionally post here, and who may be stumped for birthday gift ideas this year for their daughters, who may also post here, please scroll back to the top of the post and re-read. Seek mom’s advice about sizes…………….*
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