This is the post where I lie about everything. Please see ‘truth’ in square parentheses.
Today is December 24, 2008 [March 9, 2008]. I know I speak for all of Mankind [me] when I say we [I] couldn't be more thankful [pissed off] for the beautiful dusting [dumping] of snow we received over the last few days, leading up to Christmas Day [It is March. Not Christmas, but Easter, actually]. There is nothing like a couple inches [10 Feet] of sparkly, white snow [icy, slushy, salty, heavy CRAP] to get you in the Christmas spirit [again, NOT Christmas, but EASTER].
Today, I laced up my running shoes, and energetically bounded out my front door [slid and slipped down my front path, able to stop only from the force created by my collision with the tree at the end of said path]. I took a deep breath, filled my lungs with the crisp, fresh winter air [diesel/gas/other noxious fumes fill the air today as everyone with a snow blower or a plow attached to the front of their pick up truck has taken to the streets to dig their neighbour out from under the 10 feet of snow that has fallen within the last 24 hours], and fired up my iPod [my iPod is frozen solid after being exposed to the air for approximately 35 seconds].
It’s a gorgeous day [harrumph], perfect for a quick 5 miles - I barely notice the time has passed before I’m back in my own driveway, having returned from one of the most enjoyable winter runs I have had to date. [I have not left my driveway. I have become lodged in a snowbank on my way to the road and have been further buried by an unsuspecting snowplough, clearing the streets. Don’t worry about me though – leave me here. Just let me know when winter is over.]
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